And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
worst night to have a conscience
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
