PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
