I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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