hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
