I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
