did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
