used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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