he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
