Kiss
Puke
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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