Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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