I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
