Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
