I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
