I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize