Where is the hickey?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
