don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
