i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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