Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
