help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm too high and old for this...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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