gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
