Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
