Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
