"it" just moved
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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