five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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