I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
