Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
