Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
