Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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