My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
