i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
