And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Randomize
