Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
