He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
