just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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