Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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