Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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