Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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