My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
