So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
