He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
