yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
