Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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