erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
