6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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