so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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