Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
