The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
