at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
