just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
