He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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