Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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