just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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