we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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