if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
too bad you live with your parents still
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
