I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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